The war on families has been waged for decades with immodesty, contraception, divorce, “family courts”, transgenderism and countless other examples marching onward. But the most recent trend is really picking up speed: “no contact” children. That would be children who sever all contact with their parents. I’m not talking exclusively of adult children cutting off narcissistic, toxic parents who manipulate, mentally abuse, or undermine marriages. I’m talking about children and young adults embracing a spirit of rebellion against the 4th commandment. The phenomenon is so prevalent that Oprah Winfrey recently produced a podcast episode about it. The latest celebrity example involves the son of David and Victoria Beckham who has served his parents with legal notice that they are not to communicate with him. His only contact and correspondence with them shall henceforth only occur via his lawyer.
I don’t know what went on in the Beckham household. Perhaps David and Victoria (aka Posh Spice of Spice Girls fame) were crazy, abusive, disruptive, or manipulative. I cite this only as an example of a much larger trend that is not only affecting the secular humanists of the world, but also traditional Catholics – so much so that my friend Laramie Hirsch devoted an entire Substack article to it
Today’s feast of the Holy Family is a good reason to reflect on the Fourth Commandment. God placed it fourth on His list, just below the first three commandments which deal with our obligations to Him. THAT is how important this commandment is; note that it even outranks number five “thou shalt not kill”. According to the Catechsim of the Council of Trent, the Fourth Commandment, “Honor Your Father and Mother,” obliges children to love, respect, obey, and revere their parents, recognizing them as God’s appointed authority who provide physical, spiritual, and intellectual nurturing, and that this honoring of parents reflects honoring God. Put succinctly: disrespecting them is akin to disrespecting God. This does not mean subjecting ourselves to abuse from parents who demand us to break God’s Laws (we do not owe obedience to immoral directives from flawed individuals whether they be parents or even clergy). Even if we have abusive or addicted parents, parents that are mentally ill, or parents who are morally corrupt, we have a basic obligation to at least pray for them.
And our obligations to our parents do not end when we “grow up”. As adults, the Fourth Commandment still obliges us to support our parents in old age, illness, and distress, calling a priest to help prepare them in their final agony, and praying for them after their death. (As a side here: I can’t count how many obituaries I read of clearly Catholic people whose adult children hold a “celebration of life” in lieu of a proper requiem Mass. This is gravely evil).
Alas, in our post-Christian society , it’s no surprise to see this commandment is under diabolical assault. Lots of people are severing ties with their families who refuse to ratify immoral behavior or poor decisions.Things are so extreme that a family court judge recently told a friend of mine that her courtroom is seeing teens who are petitioning for emancipation from their parents (this is a TikTok phenomenon, I’m told). Again, this is not exclusive to the secular society, and Traditional Catholics are not exempt from this. I’m choosing to write about this today because I’m simply shocked at the number of friends and parishioners I’ve talked to over the last year who are dealing with this. If this applies to you, know that you are not alone in this battle.
We have been warned by Sister Lucia of Fatima that the devil’s final assault will be against the family. It makes sense considering that God has ordered the family as the building block & foundation of society. Remember: He places this commandment high on the list – just under those duties to owed to Him. So no wonder we are under a multi-front, multi-faceted war for the souls of our families.
Today especially, let us go to the Holy Family for an example of a true, God-centered example of home life; may we imitate the virtues of the Holy Family.
Let us look to Our Lord who voluntarily made Himself subject to St. Joseph and Our Blessed Mother. Let us imitate the virtues of the Holy Family.
And let us place our families under the protection of the Holy Family.